Awkward bonding
by MissILoveMovies
Summary: One shot. Felix wants The Nicelanders and Ralph to bond so they can be friends, so he leaves them alone for two hours. Not counting on the fact they'd get drunk. Rated T for alcohol use.


"So what are we doing?" Gene asked Felix. Felix just smiled at them all.

"Well. I know that you guys trust Ralph now, but you aren't exactly friends." Felix said. It was true. They were a lot nicer, but they didn't know much about him. 30 years of ignoring him had taken it's toll. They liked being around Ralph, but it was awkward. It got too awkward that they couldn't really spend time with him, without Felix being there. Felix was a close friend to both groups and some one you can trust in awkward situation helps. "He's family. To what you consider him as in our family is up to you. Personally, to me he's my brother. So I think that you guys should spend time with Ralph, without me."

Everyone looked nervously at each other. It wasn't a scared nervous, more like an unsure nervous.

"Felix?" Ralph whispered to him. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yeah." Felix whispered back. "Don't you like them?"

Ralph looked at the Nicelanders. They were still a little shocked by Felix's suggestion.

"Yes, but..they seem unsure." Ralph whispered back.

"Come on. This will help you guys get over your awkwardness." Felix replied in a whisper.

"How? They've hated me for 30 years, only now they're starting to trust me. How is this going to help?" Ralph whispered back.

"Um..we can hear you." Mary said. Felix and Ralph stared blankly at her, embarrassed.

"Okay..well..I better go then.." Felix said and headed for the door. "I'm going on a date with Tamera."

"Tamera?" One of them asked. "You're cheating on your wife,Calhoun?"

"No! That's her first name!" Felix explained quickly. Accusations of cheating would not be good for him in the long run. "Okay..now if you need me...for emergencies..I'll be in Hero's Duty."

Then he left.

They all sat there in an uncomfortable silence. They looked at one another nervously.

"So uh...what do we talk about?" Ralph asked.

"Well, what do we have in common?" Mary asked.

"Family and the fact we're in the same game, but other than that, nothing." Ralph pointed out. There was silence for a moment.

"Why don't I make drinks?" Gene suggested. Everyone nodded in agreement. Gene started pouring vodka for everyone.

At first everyone drank it slowly, in the same awkwardness. They had the first few drinks like this.

Then they got drunk...

"Y-you know wh-what I don't understand." Mary said, her speech slurred. "Why do we make pies all the time!"

"Be-because." Gene said softly, yet slurred. "It makes Felix's hat turn colors."

"I get pie too..and I don't have a hat." Ralph said, as drunk as the others. All the Nicelanders turned to him and laughed.

"We- we should make pie!" Some one suggested.

"I don't know..how..how do you make pie?" Ralph asked, laughter in his voice.

"We'll show ya!" Deanna said. "C-come on!"

They all crowded into Deanna's kitchen. Everyone was looking around for a pie tin and ingredients.

"Wh-ere..where are the cherries?" Gene asked, standing on Ralph's shoulders to reach the cupboard. He couldn't get a grip on it, Ralph was staggering everywhere. "Wait I found them!"

He grabbed and a can and Ralph gently put him on the ground. He handed the can to Deanne who examined the can.

"This is turnips you idiot!" She yelled. Then she shrugged. "Oh well..."

She added it to the pie mix. The Nicelanders and Ralph readied the pie for the oven. After it preheated they put it in. They grabbed some pillows as makeshift chairs and watched the pie cook.

"You know. The pies usually, c-cook faster during..during work." One of them pointed out. After what seemed like forever the pie was done.

"I'll get it!" Gene said excited. He opened the oven and began to grab it. "Oh..wait. I need oven mitts."

Ralph playfully threw the oven mitts at him. Gene growled and threw the over mitts back. He was aiming for Ralph's face, but they fell short on the floor.

"Darn it!" Gene tried to say it in a harsh tone, but he couldn't stop laughing. He picked up the gloves and playfully hit Ralph with the gloves.

"Just get the pie." Ralph laughed. Gene nodded and put the oven mitts on. He got the pie and put it on the table.

"I got the forks!" Deanna said and ran over with them. Everyone got a fork and ate the turnip pie; then spit it out.

"Ugh! This is awful!" Deanna complained.

"Well you let Gene put turnip in it." Ralph explained.

"Don't blame me!" Gene said in a playful angry tone. He hit Ralph in a playful manner. Even though he was drunk, Ralph knew if he hit back, he would hurt Gene. "Deanna's the one who put it in the pie!"

"Don't drag me into this. I want to see you fight Ralph and fight." Deanna said in a slurred voice.

"Alright!" Ralph and Gene said in unison. Gene started hitting Ralph's leg. Ralph still knew it would be bad to play attack back; Felix would be mad if he came home to a hurt Nicelander. If he did, well...they'd go from the brother end of the scale, to the enemy end of the scale.

"Come on! Fight!" Gene laughed. Ralph barely bumped Gene with his fist. They ended up play fighting and the Nicelanders cheered them on.

"You-you know what?" Gene asked Ralph, in a drunk friendly tone. "You-you're not just the bad guy who wrecks the building, you are..one of us..family.."

"Family!" Everyone yelled in agreement. They hugged Ralph.

…...

"I'm back!" Felix said. "How was-?"

He saw the Nicelanders and Ralph running around trashing Deanna's room. It's not like she cared; she was causing just as much damage.

"I leave you alone for two hours and you get drunk!?" Felix asked in disbelief.

"But, we-we're friends now; like you wanted. It's more fun to be drunk with them then in Tappers." Ralph said in a slurred voice. Felix gave a small smile for a second. Then he looked worried.

"How are you going to work tomorrow if you're hung over?" Felix asked,

"It-it'll be fine." Gene said. Then he laughed. "Except for Deanna's room. She's going to be mad."

"Well...I'll talk to her about it tomorrow." Felix said. Then he turned to Ralph and grabbed his hand. "Come on, brother. I'll take you home."

"Okay.." Ralph said, as Felix lead him outside. They walked to where the dump used to be which was where Ralph's house was now.

"Ralph, I'm glad you're friends with them now, but-" Felix said gently.

"Family. They called me family." Ralph explained. Felix couldn't help smiling at this for a moment, before he stopped.

"Just sleep. Goodnight, brother. See you tomorrow." Felix said.

The end.


End file.
